Jank Mail: Shooters, State of Play and Highguard

It’s Valentine’s Day, so let us slip into something more comfortable - like a look back at this week’s headlines.

At Jank Towers, Graham wished that games culture was more like book culture, although discovered in the process that the photography is harder than you think. I played Quarantine Zone: The Last Post and found it to be a deadening amount of busywork, and Car Service Together which was a more satisfying amount of busywork until I found out what Brendy was doing. Our members-only Discord now has a #jontys-garage channel and I wish to make clear that I had no hand in its creation.

Brendy also went back to the newly-denumbered Overwatch to see if it had indeed been reborn, and exclusively revealed that it’s still Overwatch. Finally, a games media outlet brave enough to say “it’s good, if you like that sort of thing”. He also rejoiced in the return of Samurai Gunn 2 and joined Nate and myself on Total Playtime to pick some game characters to be our life coaches.

Elsewhere in the gaming world, Discord said that it wasn’t going to force everybody to verify their age to use it, after everybody jumped to conclusions about its public statement that it would force everybody to verify their age to use it. The new game from the Disco Elysium devs is still a lot like Disco Elysium although please do not confuse it with the other games from Disco Elysium devs which might also be a lot like Disco Elysium. 

Sony did a game showcase which was mostly about PS5 but we all know those games are coming to PC eventually, they’re just being coy because people actually buy their games console. Highlights included Silent Hill: Scotland which sure does look a lot like Scotland, so I will await insight from our Caledonian correspondent on whether the murderous abominations have authentic accents. Mike Booth is still forcing blasphemous mutations on the pure and perfect Left 4 Dead template which now includes, inevitably, upgrade paths and very shiny robot combat but it’s a PS5 showcase so what do you expect. 

There’s a John Wick game that is mostly just about punching people, which can’t match the balletic impact of the film but does mean Keanu can be in it without being shot full of cortisone which I’m sure we can all agree he deserves. Krafton revealed a new action RPG starring an extremely hench chicken man, which I’m sure has already resulted in some extremely enthusiastic fanart which I’m not going to make the mistake of looking up. The new Castlevania is being made by the folks behind Dead Cells and The Rogue Prince of Persia, and there’s a new Metal Gear Solid collection which means there’s a new excuse to post memes about Metal Gear Solid.

The Highguard devs laid off a lot of people which is another data point for “launching a live service game” being the new “fight a land war in Asia” (here's hoping Marathon's playtest proves a counterpoint). One of those affected pointed out, correctly, that pre-release criticism was an overblown social-media-fuelled hate-loop and also that he shouldn’t have posted on Twitter, but he did so in a post on Twitter which suggests that the lesson has not taken. A second Starcraft shooter project has hit the discourse.

Lots of companies declared their financial results and gestured vaguely at upcoming releases in the process. Sega promised four big new games by 2027 and one might be Total Warhammer 40,000 but another is definitely going to be an ill-advised Sonic glow-up. Embracer promised one game which might be a new Metro but could just be another Tomb Raider, and Ubisoft didn’t promise anything new but did confirm that RedLynx and Reflections were absorbed into the “supporting artists” bit of its new structure so we definitely aren’t seeing Driver or Trials ever again.

That was the week in PC gaming. Another one will start any minute now, please ready yourselves.