Jon Hicks

Jon Hicks

Jon is Editorial Director of GamesIndustry.biz. He has previously managed a lot of games websites and worked at a lot of live events. He contributes to Jank in his spare time and doesn't cover anything here that he's covered at work.
London, UK

Samson is GTA 4 with good hair and no money

Crime and creative accounting

The Steam page for Samson invites comparisons to GTA: open world, cars, combat, and a grimy criminal narrative that could be unconvincingly presented as a view on contemporary America. In practice, it’s more limited: it’s a bit like GTA, but specifically GTA 4, and just the opening section, except with more melee combat, less mission variety, some distractingly detailed visuals and a truly remarkable array of bugs. 

The aesthetic is strongly reminiscent of the sort of mid-budget 90s action film in which character actors dimly recognisable as guest stars from Frasier conducted car chases in boxy Fords and shootouts in indistinct warehouses, with the crucial difference that Samson is not issued a gun: the only combat is melee, which uses two moves, one dodge, and some short-lived weapon pickups. Driving, meanwhile, is limited to a handful of different vehicles, some of which are equipped with nitrous and all of which are equipped with an implausible ability to leap sideways for the purposes of bashing another vehicle off the road. It reminds me a little of Sleeping Dogs, the last great nearly-man of the GTA pretenders, but the resemblance is regrettably superficial.

The player's car, pursuing three vans over a bridge towards a junction.
Samson's muscle car is better than

Jank Mail: Playing politics

This week in PC gaming

It was a quiet week on Jank and Brendy couldn’t be having that, so he transferred a conversational pipebomb from the Discord to the homepage by asking if a game can be so bad it's good. He then left the comments section to argue about Daikatana while he embarked on a predictably unpredictable political career in Moves of the Diamond Hand. Graham defended the clones and the Total Playtime crew shared our experiences reviewing Half-Life 3, which is the sort of thing that can only be done with financial backing so thanks once again to all who back Total Playtime and Jank and make it possible. 

Beyond Jank, Game Pass is cheaper now and will only contain old Calls of Duty, because it turns out that cost a lot of money and didn’t achieve very much. Microsoft Gaming is just called Xbox again as part of a wide-ranging manifesto that can be read as inspirational or sinister depending on your mood, but calls for “a level of self-critique that should feel uncomfortable” which I’m sure any gaming-focused subreddit will be delighted to help with.

More like Build A Docket Boy, amiright. Elsewhere in deeply awkward work

Total Playtime: Half-Life 3 Review Chat

Gordon’s fitness journey

Total Playtime is a Patreon-supported podcast about videogames, hosted by Alice Bell, Jon Hicks, Brendan Caldwell and Nate Crowley. Jank has partnered with them and we'll be posting new episodes each week.

For the latest Patreon-exclusive episode of Total Playtime - shared of course with the impeccably discerning readers of Jank - there was only one possible topic: the release of Half-Life 3, to which as professional gaming opinion-havers we were granted early access.

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Total Playtime: Half-Life 3 Review Chat
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It’s a surprising release even by Valve’s eternally inscrutable standards, which makes this a particularly interesting episode as we each share our personal responses to a series of unexpected, nay, unprecedented design choices. 

I can’t really describe this without spoiling the episode, so you’ll just have to listen along to discover our reactions to things like Bluto’s Adversary, the high-protein economy of City 18, PodTides and the narrative justification for punching a hole through your own monitor. These are the experiences, and questions, only offered by this calibre of truly next-generation gaming experience.

You can listen to the episode right here, and it's also available on Patreon and Spotify.

Jank Mail: Rockstar money

This week in PC gaming

Jank this week had an unplanned theme of "solitude". It began with Graham and Brendy outlining the best first-person single-player PC game levels, which is the sort of overly-specific list we can do round these SEO-free parts, but it was all for nothing because they didn’t include a single Arkane level. This is what happens when I’m too busy to contribute to the lists; I have failed you, the reader, and will do better in future. 

Nic Ruben stayed solo to tour single-player extraction shooters, Graham was pursued by a giant centipede, and Brendy reviewed Anthology of a Killer two years after it released, which is another thing we can do when there is nobody to stop us. Thanks to all who’ve backed the site and enabled this. On Total Playtime we discussed vintage sexualisation controversies, recent Microsoft controversies, and the very real although regrettably long-odds prospect of a Duck Tales extraction shooter.  

Out there in the wider world, after Rockstar got hacked and was remarkably “yeah whatever” the hackers released the data early, revealing to a scandalised world how much money GTA Online allegedly makes and how much Red Dead Online doesn’t.

Total Playtime: Wee Butt Mode

We might get a Duck Tales extraction shooter before GTA 6

Total Playtime is a Patreon-supported podcast about videogames, hosted by Alice Bell, Jon Hicks, Brendan Caldwell and Nate Crowley. Jank has partnered with them and we'll be posting new episodes each week.

In a rare treat this week’s episode is not talking about layoffs, but I contrived to introduce them as additional context for Pete Hines being savagely critical of what happened to Bethesda, so the narrative thread is maintained. Otherwise this is quite a good-natured look at the latest PC gaming happenings, including what turned out to be some extremely inaccurate guesses at what hackers had stolen from Rockstar, and what will doubtless prove to be extremely inaccurate guesses at what’s in Epic’s Disney-character extraction shooter.

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Total Playtime Episode 33: Wee Butt Mode
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Other highlights this week include Brendy driving up some hills and becoming troubled by them, Nate establishing himself as our resident Jeff Kaplan correspondent, and the ease with which you can Mandela Event yourself into believing just about any idiotic Gamergate-y conspiracy theory is a real thing because they’re all so ridiculous as to be plausible. 

Plus: troublesome dogs, IRL Pope beef, some very ill-advised rake-stepping

Jank Mail: Triple highs

This week in PC gaming

Another week has passed, which was good in parts, and one of the good things was a new Jank list. Brendy and Graham put their heads together to work out their favourite multiplayer maps, which is a pretty extensive rundown considering it should only be Q3DM17, and there are some good additional proposals in the comments

I reached back into Total Playtime’s Text Adventure archive to reveal that the Mass Effect Andromeda novel doesn’t have the narrative restrictions of so many other gaming books but still found its own way to be not very good. Total Playtime itself turned one-ish and celebrated by answering listener questions. Aged veteran Jim Rossignol explained why the slightly less aged Hunt Showdown is still the extraction shooter to beat and Brendy’s inaugural Living in Sim turned into a bad time driving a truck in South America.  

The gaming world had large had a fairly quiet week. There was a decent news dump from the reliably good Triple-I showcase: it introduced an extremely messed-up farming sim and told us that Warren Spector’s new thieving game is out next month, the developer of 1000xRESIST is making a game about

Total Playtime: Anniversary Sausage Mailbag

At last, the Z list

Total Playtime is a Patreon-supported podcast about videogames, hosted by Alice Bell, Jon Hicks, Brendan Caldwell and Nate Crowley. Jank has partnered with them and we'll be posting new episodes each week.

It has been a whole year of Total Playtime! Plus like six weeks of Text Adventure and one week where we just bailed for scheduling reasons, all of which means that the “one year anniversary” ep arrives around the sixteen-month mark. At no point did we promise to be organised or mathematically sound, and we remain very thankful to our Patreons (and the fine backers of Jank) for funding an entire year-and-a-bit of barely-focused rambling about PC games and things pertaining to them. 

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Total Playtime: Anniversary Sausage Mailbag
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With this instalment we finally hit Episode Z and with it, the final inch of runway before we have to come up with a new naming convention for the 27th Patreon episode. If you come back here in two weeks we might have done so; or we'll have just moved on to A1 or Cyrillic characters or something.

To mark this momentous occasion, we opened the sausage mailbag to answer questions from our

The Mass Effect Andromeda prequel has one thing to do, and does it badly

Toiling for Initiative

Total Playtime is a Patreon-supported podcast about videogames, hosted by Alice Bell, Jon Hicks, Brendan Caldwell and Nate Crowley. Jank has partnered with them to bring their premium episodes to our paying subscribers - but we’re making this episode free to all. 

Text Adventure is Total Playtime’s videogame book club, in which we read a videogame novelisation and try very hard to like it. In this episode, first released to Patrons last year, we were joined by RPS’s Edwin Evans-Thirlwell to read Mass Effect Andromeda: Nexus Uprising, the first of three novels about Bioware’s ill-fated sequel and the first chronological instalment, telling as it does the story of how the wheels came off the Andromeda Initiative well before Messrs. Ryder showed up at the start of the game. That means it’s the first Text Adventure book that isn’t forced to slavishly reproduce the events of the game, an advantage it proceeds to squander at some length. 

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Text Adventure - Mass Effect Andromeda Nexus Uprising
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The end goal is right there in the title: the uprising on the Nexus space station, the aftermath of which greets you at