Jank Mail: Rockstar money

Jank this week had an unplanned theme of "solitude". It began with Graham and Brendy outlining the best first-person single-player PC game levels, which is the sort of overly-specific list we can do round these SEO-free parts, but it was all for nothing because they didn’t include a single Arkane level. This is what happens when I’m too busy to contribute to the lists; I have failed you, the reader, and will do better in future. 

Nic Ruben stayed solo to tour single-player extraction shooters, Graham was pursued by a giant centipede, and Brendy reviewed Anthology of a Killer two years after it released, which is another thing we can do when there is nobody to stop us. Thanks to all who’ve backed the site and enabled this. On Total Playtime we discussed vintage sexualisation controversies, recent Microsoft controversies, and the very real although regrettably long-odds prospect of a Duck Tales extraction shooter.  

Out there in the wider world, after Rockstar got hacked and was remarkably “yeah whatever” the hackers released the data early, revealing to a scandalised world how much money GTA Online allegedly makes and how much Red Dead Online doesn’t. This information prompted Take Two’s share price to increase, thus making it perhaps the least successful blackmail attempt ever. Hackers: 0, Rockstar: $1,300,000 per day, which makes it an even bigger flex to have described it as “non-material company information”. 

The gaming BAFTAs happened and obviously Clair Obscur won a bunch of them but it was gratifying to see a bit more love for South of Midnight and Despelote.  “Street Fighter 6’s incest nerf doesn’t go far enough” is one of those things that should have stayed on a fan forum somewhere but now I know about it and so do you. Bloober is making more horror games, in case you were worried about that.

The new Xbox boss said that Game Pass is too expensive and some guy on the internet said that they’re going to take Call of Duty out of it. Both can be true. It looks like Steam might soon include 30-day price tracking for each game, which may fractionally reduce sale-driven backlog buildup. Embark admitted that they weren’t expecting so many ARC Raiders to be peaceniks but they’re totally cool with it, just saying. 

Samson is getting steadily less janky which is putting a ticking timebomb on my finishing my writeup of it, and means I have to go back in and see if it’s stopped firing NPC vehicles into space. Battlefield used to contain real screams of pain, and will soon contain Wake Island, again. Ludum Dare is officially ending, apart from if it wants to come back sometime, which I consider a highly relatable approach to quitting something. Video Games song lady is doing videogame song. 

We were reminded that there’s a Call of Duty movie, but it’s not out until 2028 and who knows what’ll be happening by then. Thoughts and prayers for whichever screenwriter is trying to thread the needle of “contemporary but not currently active warzone”. Rich Stanton rediscovered that it’s called the Elder Scrolls because Bethesda had to retcon an RPG name after it had already printed all the game boxes. We learned that the Escape from Tarkov guy is behind a new hard sci-fi shooter and we were formally introduced to the the next Metro game.

Let us close with some choice selections from the Jank community. Obvious Kojima plant AIbot Realman had some housekeeping tips on Nic’s solo shooters jaunt.

Turnspit Dog recommended a game I’ve never heard of in the best single-player levels article, which is a great example of how these lists prompt useful discussion. 

Finally, aoania nominated some new Quake maps for what you should play this weekend. 

 Here endeth the week. Go and play some PC games.