Max Payne vs Harry Du Bois
Welcome to season one of Character Select. How many seasons will there be? Shut up, you don't even know the rules yet.
Character Select is that thing you do with your mates when you sit around the TV watching a bad movie and one of you has a sudden attack of stonerbrain and asks: "Who would win: The Hulk or The Meg?" Except we're doing it for PC game characters and our match-ups will be funnier.
On top of pitting two videogame characters against one another in an unspecified yet likely violent form of competition, we'll also tell you what arena they'll face one another in. It is up to you, the filthy commenters, hollering from the stands of this trashy coliseum of popular culture, to decide the winner of each conflict.
I have a small stack of these face-offs prepared and ready to publish every week. I'll be honest, I invented this brawling column as a quick and dirty means of covering my article quota while I am away changing nappies on paternity leave. But don't think about that. The point is: many characters you know and love will die. It's now, or it is