Reviews

Everyone's a critic, but we've been doing it longer.

Quake is a good shooter

There is no reason for other games to exist but okay.

If Quake did not exist it would be necessary to invent him. (Quake as you know is the surname of the protagonist of the first-person shooter of the same name - his full name is Brad Quake).

The graphics are quite interesting. Spellbinding, you could say. There are actual rooms, made of actual boxes, and a sky with true and real clouds that the developers, id Software, must have imported from a real-life country somewhere in the southern hemisphere.

When you shoot a gun in Quake, several things are revealed to you. First: life is fleeting and death is the universal constant. Second: shotguns are cool.

I give Quake: The Videogame a full five stars out of five, but only for the sheer variety of feelings it has given me over the course of my nine minutes of playtime. These feelings include but are not limited to: hunger.

Stay tuned for more reviews!

Sword Of The Sea's watery allegory is no great Journey

This surfy adventure about rewilding the desert with orca invites an unflattering comparison - and inevitably wipes out.

A popular stereotype of surfers is that they're attractive airheads. A fit waverider doesn't have time for big thoughts, beyond explaining that the moon is, like, totally in league with the whales, man. This is a lame stereotype, and yet a helpful image when it comes to explaining how I feel about dashing surf 'em up Sword Of The Sea. This game is beautiful, toned, ripped, fashionable, athletic, and it has a great ear for music. It also has the conversational skills of a post-huff stoner, and its visual similarity to Journey only invites an unflattering comparison.

The game itself is an approachable ride. You swoop along in smooth arcs and can leap into the air, double-jumping for extra trick time, cruising through ultimately linear sandy levels that coax you toward lanterns and bells that turn sand into seawater and unlock the way to the next area. It only lasts about 3 hours too, meaning it can glide in and out of your life with unobnoxious merit. If you've got a subscription service that includes the game, there are worse ways to spend an evening.

Images: Giant Squid / Jank

And there are better. I've read reviews praising the game as