I don't want to be stuck in the past

Please, help. I scan Steam every week, looking for that special something that'll paralyze my scrollin' finger. I want to slide into something new, bold, and inventive. A firecracking mix of genres that makes me sit up straight. A story I haven't heard before. A magic trick I do not know the secret to. 

But then I see some crispy PlayStation-styled horror and my brain says: "Ah yes, there's that thing you like". I am caught in the retro trap. I can't help be drawn to these games, their chunky character models, their wobbling walls, their late-nineties electricity. But I feel imprisoned by them too. It is the videogame equivalent of being handed the menu at an Indian restaurant, looking at all the delicious things you've never tried, then ordering the Butter Chicken again. I am angry at the predictable millennial dad I am becoming, desperate not to lose the hungry teenager at the back of my brain who wants to break free. 

If you're a regular reader, you've maybe noticed. This year I have played 2000s shooter inspired Sprawl Zero, 2000s shooter inspired Dagger Directive, 2000s shooter inspired Vholume, 2000s shooter inspired Metal Garden, and, uh, actual 2000s children's platformer Wall-e. I have indulged pixelated tributes to Minecraft and PlayStation-flavoured sci-fi racers. This month is an absolute feast for me. Athanasia is billed as "Dino Crisis meets System Shock". Queen's Domain promises 30-40 hours of King's Field-ish exploration in a harsh fantasy world, and Derelikt is like Alien Resurrection if it was actually fun to play. I am keen to play all three (even if I know, in my heart, I'll probably not complete any of them).

To many, this looks like a non-problem. You like what you like. Your tastes have settled and you know what will probably keep you entertained. Why watch superhero movies if you've not enjoyed them in the past? Why bother with anime if you've felt dead inside at every one you've watched, even as your best mates grin like idiots when the angsty motorbike boy skids to a halt? Just accept it. Get in your lane and stay in it, like a good Ridge Racer Type 4 fan. 

But I don't like this way of thinking, and I never have. I don't want my tastes to calcify, to harden to the point of closing off new possible joys. (Have you tried Into The Spiderverse? Have you watched Blue Period?) I want to totter off the neural pathways I am stuck within, and yes, even to have the patience to give terrible shit another chance. I know it can be done, if you have the energy, time, and commitment to do it. I know, because I do it already, just not with games.

I've mentioned before that research suggests your teenage years define your music taste, but I've been able to keep adding new types of music to my life well beyond those formative years, accruing a library flooded with clashing genres: 90s dance bangers, psychedelic cumbia, folk punk, evangelical hiphop, comedy reggaeton, Bollywood bops, whatever the hell Bill Wurtz is. Nearly every week I still find new sounds to like. I run Spotify Wrapped every year, and every year it says: "what the fuck are you?"